How to Bring a Jacket to the Club
Graphic by Austin Kim
It’s a tale as old as time. You’re about to walk out the door on a Saturday night, and you check the weather. It’s twenty-five degrees out. You know you should bring a jacket, but if you do, you’ll be stuck wearing it, carrying it, worrying about it being stolen or trying not to forget to retrieve it the whole night. Chicagoland winters, ever the thorn in the fashionable partygoer’s side, create a crisis.
This is the crash course you’ve been waiting for. In my three and a half quarters at Northwestern, I’ve gotten night-out jacket-toting down to a science. First, I’d like to present my credentials: As a native New Yorker who is perpetually chilly, forgoing a winter jacket when out on the town isn’t an option. I’ve encountered every permutation imaginable, from coat pile mix-ups to scoldings from bouncers (yikes). Yet, in my time as a Northwestern student, I’ve never lost a jacket.
The perfect jacket-toting-night-out method can be broken down into four distinct steps: choosing the right outerwear layer, scouting a stashing location, stashing technique and retrieval.
Me, in the line outside Sound-Bar, in the snow, wearing my beloved shag coat that returned safely at the end of the night.
Step One: Choosing the Right Outerwear Layer
When choosing a warm layer to accompany you on your evening plans, two factors must be considered: 1) required level of warmth and 2) cohesion with your outfit. Give yourself enough time to check the weather and then style accordingly. If it’s only mildly chilly, you might be able to get away with a large, thin scarf, a stylish vest or a light sweater. These kinds of layers are light and easily styled, so they could be kept on the whole night if necessary. If you don’t care about outfit cohesion on the journey, you could even choose a sweatshirt to be taken off as soon as you arrive at your destination. Leather, tweed and bomber jackets are perfect for slightly colder temperatures (think low 60 or 50-something degrees), and could also be kept on throughout the night if need be. If it’s freezing, and especially if it’s precipitating, a wool, fleece or puffer jacket (or even a parka if it’s 30 degrees or below) is your best bet. You’ll probably want to take this off when you arrive. One final point is to account for the Beer Jacket Effect. If you’re planning on drinking, keep in mind that having alcohol in your system will warm you up. Plus, dancing hard and being in a place packed with people will heat up the room itself. Do with this information what you will.
Step Two: Scouting a Stashing Location
This step is absolutely crucial to ensure that you make it home with your outer layer at the end of the night. If you take nothing else away from this section of the article, remember: HIDE YOUR JACKET. This means that any pre-existing jacket pile is an immediate no-no, because it creates too much potential for theft or mistakenly taking the wrong jacket. Your best bet is to find a location at the club/bar/music venue/party that is small, hidden, and unlikely to be checked by staff or other attendees. Every location has at least one. If you’re in a bar, that could mean wedging your layer between a trash can and a wall, behind a seating booth or deep within stacked tables and chairs in the corner. In a club or music venue, the trash-can trick works well most of the time, but one of my personal favorites is out of sight beneath a staircase (if there is one present). Parties are the easiest, because every house or apartment has dozens of small, out-of-sight nooks and crannies that are perfect for stashing.
Step Three: Stashing Technique
This step is short but important, and I’ll reiterate a point made in the previous step. Ideally, nobody (besides your friends) should see you stashing your jacket, or be able to see the jacket once it’s stashed. If you’re somewhere public like a club, bar or other venue, the staff generally don’t take kindly to people wedging their jackets in random places. This is partially due to the fact that you’re robbing the venue of coat-check revenue, and partially due to the fact that it’s *maybe* not the best club etiquette. In all honesty, though, if either of those two things were high up on your list of priorities you probably would not have read this far.
Step Four: Retrieval
This is arguably the most important step, because if you don’t remember to grab your layer before leaving your previous efforts will have been in vain. Plus, it’s a major bummer to lose a cool or expensive piece of clothing. If it’s really, really cold, chances are that stepping outside into the tundra will be a violent and immediate reminder of what you’ve left behind. Otherwise, my first piece of advice is to not get so intoxicated that you could easily blow out the door without your outerwear of choice. This is generally a good principle no matter the situation, but a reminder never hurts. My second piece of advice is to set a million reminders for yourself. This could mean texting yourself, setting a reminder, telling all of your friends to remind you or even writing on the back of your hand, “DON’T FORGET COAT.” (Yes, I’ve done the last one before, and yes, it worked).
Of course, no plan is completely foolproof. For legal reasons, I can’t guarantee any outcomes, but these four steps are a chilly fashionista’s best bet. Even if it feels like a lot of preparation just to stay warm on your nightlife escapades, you will thank yourself later. Plus, you wouldn’t want to rob the people of Chicago of the chance to see you in that cool jacket, would you?