Alyssa D. Silos: Raising hell as a Femme Fatale
Graphic by Grace Lougheed.
When I first came to college, my mom bought me two pepper spray keychains: one in hot pink and one in black. I never used pepper spray at home. In New York, I always felt comfortable and safe — more or less — and I was naive enough to believe I would never truly rely on my pepper spray in college. It was more like insurance or a decoration on the nights I actually remembered to bring it out.
But during my freshman Fall Quarter, there were reports of “snatchings” in the sorority quad and girls being followed by strange men. I had just moved from North Campus to the sorority quad, causing my mom to text me endless messages of “stay safe,” “don’t walk home alone” and “remember your pepper spray.”
Since that quarter, I’ve only grown more attached to both of my pepper spray keychains, the very same my mom gave me my first week at Northwestern. One is attached to my keys while the other lives in my go-to tote bag. I’m quick to have my finger on the nozzle, ready to spray even a swaying branch in the corner of my eye. Ironic — I had never been this afraid until I came to college.
While I was originally confused and almost insulted when my mom pushed pepper spray into my hands, I find that there are both sad and trustful sides to the relationship I have with it. Because in the end, every time I walk alone and have it ready, it’s a reminder of why I need it. It’s a reminder of the potential danger, of the statistics of attacked women, of the possibility that I’m next. There is loathing here. A sadness too. I didn’t know there was an option to feel empowered by the same item that represented the potential harm I could face. That there could be power and control over victimhood.
When I came across Alyssa D. Silos on Twitter, she had just tweeted about her growth as an artist and entrepreneur. The tweet showed how she went from completing orders in her mom’s living room to a warehouse now dedicated to her business. In the Twitter thread, she also touched upon her newly released products and hardships as an artist.
“ALSO this definitely did not happen over night :,) this was yeeearssss of trial and error, being confused as fuck, tons of rejection + no’s, told I’m not shit yada yada yada I’m 23 now and still figuring shit out! basically it’s okay to take a long time, that is normal,” Silos tweeted.
Silos has slowly gained recognition through her art, which she started showcasing in high school and exhibited in Seoul, Tokyo and Las Vegas in the following years. Last March, she announced an upcoming collaboration with Hot Topic. Silos creates and sells prints, and also gives the option to have them framed upon purchase and offers fine art consultations. While tailoring to a customer’s desires, Silos sticks to her distinctive style to achieve an incredible balance for these commissions. In addition, she puts her designs on apparel, sketchbooks and, most recently, self-defense kits.
Femme Fatale self-defense kit from Silos' website.
Raise Hell self-defense kit from Silos' website.
Silos teamed up with Mayas Organization Inc. in the Philippines after creating self-defense kits to further the fight against assault. On her website, she writes, “We want people to believe survivors, get involved, and spread more awareness in their community.” Mayas Organization Inc. is an organization that aims to support young victims of emotional, physical and sexual assault and abuse in the Philippines, and to provide a safe platform for survivors to speak about their experiences and seek help.
According to RAINN, every 73 seconds, someone in the United States is sexually assaulted. One in six American women and one in 33 American men have been a victim of an attempted or completed rape. Specifically, college-aged adults are at a much higher risk of assault than other age groups. 13% of all undergraduate and graduate students experience rape or sexual assault, especially women, who are three times more likely to be victims than men.
After designing self-defense kits and working with Mayas Organization Inc., Silos donated hundreds of kits to the organization.
"I made this kit for a lot of reasons. Sexual assault is a subject I don't take lightly... too many children, women, and men are affected by it and only until the last few years have we been able to publicly talk about sexual violence without being completely shunned,” Silos wrote on her website. “I'm aware I cannot definitely prevent further assaults with this kit, but even if it gives someone 30 seconds to escape, those 30 seconds could perhaps prevent an attack. And I am honored to give anyone that possibility.”
The kits themselves have been a huge success on social media. Many customers have posted about their kits, admiring the art, craftsmanship and packaging. The package comes with a beautifully designed thank you note, a branded envelope to hold sharper products, a heart-shaped instruction guide, with the ordered products all in a small bag that matches the recent set’s aesthetic. This batch is called the “Femme Fatale,” with rose switchblades, pepper spray and more. Her previous self-defense kit, “Raise Hell,” includes key switchblades that say “fuck off” in addition to pepper spray and an emergency alarm.
Package presentation of Femme Fatale kit. Photo by Gia Yetikyel.
Package presentation of Femme Fatale kit. Photo by Gia Yetikyel.
Silos has been using social media to repost customer reviews and photos and the behind-the-scenes work of her art and business. While she’s incredibly busy, according to her social media, she has been working on photoshoots and expanding her business.
After two years, I’ve replaced my pepper spray and added new items to my self-defense collection. But there’s no excuse for the need to carry items like these. The fact that forgetting my pepper spray could mean life or death still infuriates me. Remembering my mom’s worried looks and panicked messages makes my stomach churn in ways many can empathize with. Yet, while the additional clunkiness of my keychain is still a reminder of the potential danger I may face, I’m choosing to give it more meaning. Now, I carry art. I’m carrying someone’s story as a young artist, entrepreneur and woman whose work has traveled across the country and landed in my hands. I can’t forgive the reason why I have to buy pepper spray, but I can feel better knowing what I carry now is more than that.
You can find more of Alyssa D. Silos’ work on her website, Twitter and Instagram.