Giving Up Hair Dye: A Story of Heartbreak

My hair and I have a long history, mostly one of love, but also a history filled with trials and tribulations. When I was five years old, I cut a whopping five inches off and looked like a small boy. When I was in third grade, I got a wad of gum stuck amongst its tangles and my Mom’s surgical skills with scissors were less than satisfactory. I ended up with some uneven face-framing pieces to say the least.

However, in high school I began to explore the world of hair dye. While I started my sophomore year off as a natural blonde, I graduated with a head of black locks. In between, my hair experienced blonde highlights, light brown, auburn, and a brief at-home treatment of purple hair dye.

What people sometimes forget though is that between the assortment of treatments and colors, there was a transition phase. Between the purple and auburn phase my hair saw blonde roots, bits of black from where the purple dye started to fade out, and some strange shade of red-purple mixed in. These were the moments I hated—standing in front of the mirror looking like a hot mess. Thus, the cycle of dyes continued.

While after high school I ultimately settled on dark brown/black as my new normal, being at college has made dying my hair difficult. I no longer have a job to support the cost or my best friend Kellie to patiently spend hours painting my hair with goop. Therefore, I have recently come to the conclusion that I am done. No more hair dye, no more experimentations. Just me and whatever my roots decide to do. t’s been almost four years since I last saw my natural hair color. While I was a blonde then, who knows what will happen in the coming months.

Yesterday, as I washed my hands in a gas station bathroom, I was appalled by the reflection in the mirror. My roots were a dusty light brown and the rest of my hair looked like a patchwork of color—browns, reds, even some sort of purple sheen when the light hit it a certain way. When I got back onto my megabus I promptly started googling hair salons in Evanston and how much a full cut and color would cost. The results were anywhere from $90-120 - aka not something I had lying around in my bank account.

So here I am, learning to accept that my natural hair is okay and giving it time to grow in is okay too. Whether my dusky light brown roots decide to darken or lighten as they grow, I know that I am going to try and wait until all the dye is gone before I reevaluate my hair again (bleach blonde anyone?)