I Am No Angel: A Week on the Victoria's Secret Diet

A Little About Me:

I have always been what you might call “a skinny mini.” I am 5’ 11” and am on the relatively lower end of healthier weight for my height, but I am also a runner, specifically a sprinter. Due to this I have often found myself too skinny to be seen as strong and too muscular to be seen as skinny.

I grew up, like many tweens and teenagers, going to shop at Victoria’s Secret. What started as going once in a while transformed into becoming a loyal customer; I went to the store every time I found myself in the mall. Though I initially only went for necessities, like bras or underwear, I soon saw myself purchasing the brand’s water bottles, shirts, quarter zips and leggings. In short, I became obsessed with Victoria’s Secret.

For those who have not gone into a Victoria’s Secret store, there are black-and-white pictures of the VS angels posing on the walls. Though I didn’t notice them initially, I soon took them in. I loved their confidence and poise, not to mention killer physique. I looked up to them. I tried to emulate their makeup, and would try their poses in front of the mirror.

It was both my own love of Victoria’s Secret combined with the knowledge that my body defies certain norms related to height and sizing that made me interested in trying the VS angels’ workout and diet for a week.

**Note: For the sake of brevity, I haven’t included snacks or the fact that I had a serving of kombucha every morning to replace the serving of apple cider vinegar the angels have, because apple cider vinegar can actually permanently harm your throat.

For reference, I modeled (no pun intended) my diet off of articles from Elle and The Sun. I have included them, not to encourage people to follow them, but just to give an idea of the baseline diet that I was working with.

Day 1: The Calm Before the Storm

Day one can only be described as a hopeful blur. I started off the week with a false sense of confidence, thinking that since I eat relatively healthy and work somewhat regularly, that I would be fine.

I woke up late because I slept in, so by the time I woke up it was basically time for lunch. I made myself a salad and made an internal promise to myself that I would eat every meal until I was full, my own way of disobeying all of the rules that come along with the Victoria’s Secret way of eating. Victoria's Secret Angels do not eat salad dressing so for lunch I opted for buffalo sauce to add some flavor.

Lunch

Salad with corn, broccoli, chickpeas, pickles, hummus, buffalo sauce and a dollop of sloppy joe

For dinner, my options were limited. The only thing left in the dining hall by the time I got back from track practice was veggie salad and beef with mini-tortillas, not exactly steamed vegetables, a protein and grain, but I was happy for the variety. Where I live, there is usually one entree option, so I just did the best I could to try to eat in accordance to the “rules.”

My first temptation: A bunch of cupcakes were placed put out for people to take, and they looked good. Normally, I would just eat one, or two, but in the interest of not cheating on the first day, I resisted.

Workout: I worked out for two hours (one hour of sprinting and one hour of lifting). It wasn’t too bad, but I’m sure it will get harder to maintain over the week.

Dinner

Veggie salad, beef and mini tortillas

Day 2: What is a quadricep? Or do VS angels eat Crepes?

Breakfast

Crepe with tomatoes, onions, jalapeños, eggs, a little cheese, and buffalo sauce.

For breakfast I had a crepe with tomatoes, onions, jalapeños, eggs and buffalo sauce. There was a little bit of cheese plated on top of it, but I didn’t have the heart to say “no cheese” because that seemed stupid to me.

“Snack”: I also had mango with tajin, which was delicious, but it left me missing my usual elote.

For lunch I attempted to get a salad at Blaze, (yes they have salads) but they were out of arugula, so I gave up and went to Noodles and Company. Do I think that VS angels would eat noodles? No. Did I care by the time that I couldn’t get salad and had a headache, probably from the stress of eating this way? No.

My last meal of the day was dinner. One of the suggested dinners was a protein, grain and steamed veggies, so I made myself two veggie apple sage “sausages” and sauteed some kale with lemon and garlic. It was honestly good and pretty filling.

Workout: I only worked out for an hour tonight, I did a Popsugar class inspired by Selena Gomez’s workouts because it had a lot of small reps, something that VS angels do a lot of. Honestly, my quads were killing me by the end of it. To make matters worse, the trainer in the video kept saying something about breathing out the pain and pain as “a state of mind.”

Day 3: Fuck It, I’m Eating a Carb...and a Paleta

After a day of religiously attempting to follow all of the rules that come along with eating like a VS model, I’m starting to have mad pizza cravings. Not just any pizza, but Totino’s Pizza Rolls.

Breakfast

Eggs with hot sauce, hashbrowns, and french toast

Even though VS angels only eat an egg white omelette with turkey for breakfast, I had eggs, hashbrowns (with hot sauce of course) and half a piece of french toast.

I had an arugula salad from Blaze for lunch alongside a mango green tea because milk tea is not allowed (sad react).

Dinner: The only available dinner option in the dining hall was ravioli, so I had half a plate of that with half a plate of steamed vegetables, and buffalo sauce.

“Snack”: I went to the Mariachi Northwestern spring variety show, and they had paletas (AKA the most delicious, rich ice cream bar ever). Mine definitely had dairy in it, but when life hands you a paleta, you don’t question it.

Lunch

Arugula salad with strawberries, banana peppers, tomatoes, jalapeños, pesto, and balsamic vinaigrette

Dinner

Ravioli and vegetables (with buffalo sauce of course)

Day 4: I ate a calzone, and I don’t care that bread has carbs

In the morning, I made plain oatmeal (gotta love that no sugar rule!) and added PB2 powder (reduced fat peanut butter that I had heard good things about) plus a banana.

For lunch I ate a salad with corn, broccoli, carrots, red pepper and orzo with olive, cucumber, tomato and feta.

Lunch

Corn, broccoli, carrots, red pepper, orzo and feta.

My main options for dinner were hot dogs and hamburgers, which I do not think a VS model would eat, so I had a plate of pasta salad instead.

“Snack”: A far cry from my usual “snack” of blueberries or blackberries, I caved. I do not even want to say caved because that implies it is wrong to eat a calzone, which it is not.

I literally ordered a calzone with no cheese, because the VS angels don’t eat dairy, and I still felt guilty. At only four days in, the cumulation of all of the rules of the diet and exercise actually did make me feel bad for eating something I craved.

Workout: I worked out for one hour on my bike and did one hour of “barre sculpting.” I have started to realize the pain that small movements can cause over time.

Day 5: Help

I’m starting to really feel the soreness that working out for two hours a day can do.

Lunch: I had a turkey, brie and apple sandwich, because that was the lunch option available and veggie soup. I did not take a picture, but I’m sure you know what a sandwich looks like.

For dinner I ate a falafel sandwich with fries from Cupitol. No, fries are definitely not part of the VS model diet, but after working so hard this week, I do not really care.

Workout: I only worked out for 1 hour today, not two. I am not sorry!!

Day 6: Almost There

It’s the last day of eating like this, and the first thought that ran through my head when I woke up is that I get to eat pizza rolls tomorrow. Pizza. Rolls.

Lunch

Chipotle: sofritas, corn, salsa, rice, and lettuce

For lunch I had a burrito bowl with rice, sofritas (tofu with spices), corn, salsa and lettuce.

Dinner: I ate steamed broccoli, chicken, mashed potatoes and some cream puffs. I can literally taste tomorrow.

Dinner

Mashed potatoes, chicken, broccoli and cream puffs

Workout: I worked out for one hour on my bike. Still not sorry.

Day 7: AKA “cheat day”

As you have probably noticed, I didn’t take any photos of my food. Normally I only take pictures of food if I really want to remember it or put it on Instagram or Snapchat or something, so it felt much more normal just to opt out.

Lunch: I had biscuits and gravy with poached eggs from Cupitol with an iced chai tea, and it was amazing.

Dinner: I had an unknown number of slices of pizza, and I was so happy. After a week of trying to listen to rules as much as I could, it was so nice to just let go of all of the rules I had been trying to listen to.

Reflection:

First off, I just wanted to say that it felt like a much longer week than I thought that it would be. I thought that it wouldn’t be super difficult since I already try to eat healthy food and work out for an hour every day. I was wrong.

It is much harder than I thought that it would be to follow all of the rules and regiments related to the diet and exercise that VS angels do. More than that, though, when a diet is so predetermined and full of rules, it is hard not to feel bad about yourself. I found myself feeling guilty for eating food that I normally wouldn’t have, and it definitely made me much more conscious of what I was eating.

I also realized how big of a part of social life eating is. One night I couldn’t eat pizza because obviously it didn’t jive with the rules. Another night I couldn’t eat cookies. I was making people feel bad for me because they knew that if they ate certain foods I wouldn’t be able to.

I don’t think that utilizing the Victoria’s Secret angel diet and exercise plan is sustainable for most people, especially a college student. That being said, it wasn’t all bad. Though I won’t be taking away most of the rules of the diet, I have continued to be more conscious of what food I put in my body, and I’ve made more of an effort to eat less processed, more healthy food since this experiment.

As antithetical as it may seem, putting myself through a regimented diet and exercise routine forced me to appreciate all of the things that my body can do. Though I probably won’t ever again, I can work out for two hours a day, for multiple days in a row, if I want to.

It was nice to take a trip through this sort of fantasy diet and exercise, but I’m glad to get back to my sense of normalcy. I might never “measure up” to the fashion industry, and who knows if my body could ever cut it as a Victoria’s Secret angel, but as for me, I’d rather stick with eating what I want, when I want.