I Made It on to The League and This is My Story
In January 2017, I downloaded an app to help a friend write an article for North by Northwestern.
Its name? The League.
It’s a dating app that advertises itself as a dating app for people with “high standards.” It’s like Tinder, except some shadowy figure that resides in The League’s corporate office vets every single applicant and reviews every profile to make sure that prospective members fit into The League’s ambitious, college-educated, career-minded, Linkedin-friendly community. According to The League, “[y]ou’ll never have to wonder if that Harvard hottie is too good to be true” on their app. That’s pretty cool: who hasn’t ever asked themselves if that sketchy Tinder match really goes to UChicago or not?
Of course, The League has been scrutinized incessantly for its elitism. People probably say that The League contributes directly to class warfare and the disparity between the well-educated young professionals of ivory tower institutions like Northwestern and the typical American everyman who works hard and lives humbly. Or, something like that. But, if we all take a step back, it’s easy to recognize that The League is a perfect solution for its target audience: picky young professionals as anxious to network as they are to build themselves a Beyoncé and Jay-Z power couple relationship.
I’m, unfortunately, in The League’s target audience. I have a Linkedin. I’m ambitious, I guess: I would like to have a good career sometime in the distant future, so I guess that counts. And, most importantly, I have high standards. So high, in fact, that I would *never* trust a dating app with my love life and future happiness. I’m old-fashioned, and like to meet people in real life. And, that’s exactly what I did: during the summer prior to my freshman year at Northwestern, I met a cute, intelligent, and well-educated guy in real life and we started dating shortly after. I have no use for an app like The League. But, that didn’t stop me from being curious about an app that throws parties at The Surf Lodge with helicopters and party buses to promote itself.
Luckily for me and my curiosity, though, there’s an option on The League for people in relationships! I marked myself as “in a relationship” and created a profile. I immediately felt intense scrutiny: I knew that someone out there would screen my profile for entry, so I wanted to look my bougie best for whoever was out there. I emphasized my love of rosé and prosecco so that the brunch-loving lady at The League HQ that looks through profiles would exclaim, “Relatable!” and let me in. I marked myself “Catholic” even though I haven’t been to services for a good...10 years or so. I even updated my Linkedin to seem relevant and career-focused, though I guess that’s always a good idea no matter if you’re trying to get on an exclusive dating app or not.
I finished my profile, and entered The League’s waitlist of around 25,000 people. After this, nothing happened for months. I checked The League at times just to see if I had moved up on the waitlist. But, I didn’t seem to move past the 18,000th person out of 25,000. (Other people invited by my friend, however, managed to make it in, and she ended up finishing this article.) At some point, I stopped checking.
But, yesterday, I decided to check again after 10-11 months of disengaged waiting. I opened the app, and this is what happened.
THE MESSAGE
I opened the app and was immediately greeted with a welcome message. I was confused. What did I do? Was I being welcomed to the waitlist for the millionth time?
My first thought was whether or not this stock photo-like man really worked at Goldman and went to Harvard Law. Typical Leaguer thoughts, am I right?
My second thought was: WHY ME? I am not like you. I am not a stock photo. I am not worthy.
The premise of The League: it’s like Tinder, except you get a League Score. It measures flakiness and good date behavior. If you’re a good stand-up user of The League, you get better matches. That’s about all I got from this message. There’s more about inviting people and about becoming a paid member instead of a “guest,” which is what I am. It’s a lot. Concierge kind of intimidates me. But, yet, I feel welcomed. I also feel...a strong urge to network with Concierge. The League is getting to me.
THE DUDES AND LADIES
After opening the app, I accidentally hit “single” instead of “in a relationship.” Thus, after my warm welcome, I received three profiles for my review. All three were stock photo-like white men in their 20s and 30s. It was not pleasant. I don’t know what I expected when I joined The League. I guess my ideal dating app would just be an app where the only guy I could possibly match with would be my current boyfriend and clones of him. So, I guess The League isn’t for me in that regard.
However, objectively speaking, the guys on The League aren’t ugly. I think they might be selected based on attractiveness which explains the stock photo appearances. (If members of The League are selected on appearances, though...wow, I have *no* idea how I got onto this app. Maybe The League was really impressed by my campus involvement? I have no idea.) Despite their looks, though, many or most of the men on The League aren’t your Loyola frat boy Tinder match. Most of them seem to be businessmen well into their careers, and are much older than me. As a Northwesterner, I’d rather network with them than date them. They have nothing to contribute for me on the romantic side, but maybe they could push my résumé at their venture capital firm or get me into business school.
I looked through some of The League’s groups, and also noticed that nobody on The League is objectively ugly. Everyone on The League is fairly attractive and career-minded. There’s an obscene amount of blazers and pocket squares on The League. Many girls’ pictures look like they were pulled from bridesmaid photo shoots. It’s a good community. It’s like if you took all the people that you’d swipe right on from Tinder, selected only the ones that have good, stable careers, then put them all into another app. That’s The League. Take that as you will.
I wasn’t into it. After investigating, I immediately set myself as “in a relationship.” None of the guys on The League are better for me than my boyfriend, that’s for sure.
ACTIVITIES FOR NON-SINGLES
After I marked myself as “in a relationship” on my profile, The League immediately congratulated me on this astounding achievement and asked if I had found love on The League. (My answer? No, since I literally just got here a couple of minutes ago.)
I thought to myself, that’s it! That’s the end of my journey on The League. I’ll never get to know or understand the exclusivity of this dating app. But, surprisingly, there was more! The League also offers exclusive groups and events for members, regardless of relationship status. One highlight is R&B yoga in Chicago during the first week of November.
Generally, it’s all bougie offerings and restaurant openings. Which, actually, is what I want! What’s cool is that I can have a (very bougie) community within The League, even though I’m not looking for love.
CONCLUSION
The League is a fantastic app if you want to be picky about who you date, and I’d recommend it to anyone who is looking to expand their dating circle outside of random Tinder matches. As for me, I didn’t really get much out of my membership in The League in terms of relationships (because I really don’t need to), but I did get a directory of bougie, exclusive Chicago events! I’d say that’s still a win.