It Must Be Love On the Brain: The Neuroscience of Love
Graphic by Ruth Ellen Berry.
A year of intense loneliness has resulted in an explosion of new romantic relationships and heightened expressions of love. Intimate relationships have received greater appreciation this year, as can was wildly apparent due the storm of new relationships that occurred in the last few months, since other distractions and the usual activities that may bring us joy have been placed on hold due to the coronavirus pandemic, much of our joy has come from close family, friends, and obviously romantic partners. Swiping through the greatest storm of Valentine’s Day posts I have ever seen, I figured it was appropriate to research how the function of certain parts of the brain relate to the emotional experience of love. Why does it seem that, more than usual, our happiness is dependent on intimate loving relationships?
I began research simply for a blog post assignment for my Intro to Neuroscience class, and after sharing my findings with many of my friends, found their intrigued inspiration enough to share with STITCH as well.
The way your brain reacts to love affects your mood and behavior when the feelings are new, but some effects linger longer and continue to strengthen your commitment over time.
People in love often feel a sense of euphoria, the giddy excitement you feel, when spending time with the person or people you love. This can be traced to the effect of the release of the neurotransmitter dopamine. Just by thinking about someone you love is enough to trigger dopamine release, making you feel excited and eager to do whatever it takes to see them. This dopamine creates the attachment or addiction one feels to their partner or romantic interest. As far as neurochemistry goes, this attachment is also related to a surge in oxytocin levels, which increases feelings of attachment and safety with a person you love. Oxytocin is nicknamed “the love hormone” for this reason.
Love isn’t always a pleasant feeling, though. In fact, it can create a lot of stress in our bodies due to anxiety related to physical or relationship based insecurities, the pressure to fill certain roles, and other stressors. In response to the stress associated with love, the body produces norepinephrine and adrenaline, the same hormones your body releases when you face danger or other crises. As a result, your heart may start racing when you see the person you love, your hands may become sweaty, and your face may flush. In other words, love gives you butterflies. Picture yourself in your freshman dorm, waiting for your current love interest to arrive for the first time since you hooked up in the Uber on the way back from The Dime.
As love flourishes, individuals find themselves more willing to make sacrifices for their relationship or person of interest. This is understood to happen because people in love tend to function more emotionally in sync, meaning if one person is sad it has an impact on the other. You are more likely to make sacrifices to keep your lover happy, as it will also keep you happy. For example, individuals in relationships often joke about sitting through long movies or sports games you don’t care about just to watch the person you love to smile at the screen.
The people we love often consume our thoughts. As discussed in a 2005 MIT study, it is suggested that this is also the responsibility of the anterior cingulate cortex. This brain region has been linked to obsessive-compulsive behaviors, which can help explain why the intensity and frequency of your thoughts might seem to creep toward the level of an obsession. As a result, we worry about text responses and fantasize about vacations and sexual scenarios while watching lectures.
Being in love can also lead to poor decision-making. When you experience intense love, parts of your brain responsible for helping you detect danger (amygdala) and make decisions (the frontal lobe) go into temporary hibernation, leaving you lacking these essential skills. This can lead to both silly and dangerous consequences, often explaining the irrational behavior often associated with young or new love. This is also intrinsically dangerous in new relationships as it makes it more difficult to recognize red flags in the subject of our affection. Being warned about bipolar tendencies and past relationship infidelity and somehow still confused by the warm feeling of lying in their arms, we are easily manipulated by our own brain chemistry.
While researching for this article I found myself giggling at the simple truths that not just love, but like, or interest in someone we are attracted to romantically or sexually can have on our brain. The hours we spend daydreaming, the texts we spend time overthinking, and the stories we tell ourselves convincing ourselves that our partners hate us, none of it is our fault! It is all just brain chemistry, so take a deep breath and next time you’re crushing a little too hard on someone and can’t seem to focus on anything else, don’t blame yourself!