'Should I get bangs?': An Extensive Survival Guide for the Sudden Desire to get Bangs
Recently, Miley Cyrus got bangs and the implications were huge. This is not just a haircut – this is a big ‘ole slap in the face with mid 2000s Disney nostalgia. We can’t get back our childhoods, or Billy Ray Cyrus in a fedora and fake mustache, or the blissful ignorance of a life before Miley Cyrus twerked on Robin Thicke. But you know what we can get instead? Bangs.
It’s a thought many of us have had and most have regretted. Bangs are many things: high maintenance, a huge commitment, a guarantee that you won’t see your eyebrows for many months, and God’s ultimate way of humbling us. Don’t get me wrong, some people can pull off bangs – namely Miley Cyrus. Many people can’t pull off bangs – namely me in fifth grade. Yet even I, knowing the simple truth that I would not look like Hannah Montana, thought “Maybe I should get bangs.” It’s a frightening, pervasive thought. Once it’s popped into your head, it won’t leave until you’re standing in your bathroom, kitchen shears in one hand and too much hair in the other. I’m here to keep the scissors out of your hands and the hair on your head, so here are some tips on how to beat bangs.
1. Cut literally any other portion of your hair. Layers, a blunt bob, a not blunt bob, even get an undercut. Just leave those few inches of hair above your forehead ALONE.
2. Maybe you want to change your hair without sacrificing length. I get it – I take biotin too. So, dye your hair. Coloring your hair comes with the same risk of looking bad, but a bad dye job just needs more dye to be fixed. Red wasn’t your color? No problem. I’m sure black will be – just dye again. You can’t fix bangs with more bangs.
3. Why change your actual hair at all? More is more, so get extensions. Sure, for them to look nice you’ll probably have to drop at least a couple hundred, but you could also just get some plastic clip-ins from Amazon. They’ll probably look bad, but unlike bangs, you can always take them out.
4. Unfortunately, with extensions comes bulk. Maybe you have enough volume as it is? No problem – I have the perfect solution. We’re bringing back hair feathers. They won’t weigh you down, involve no real altering of your actual hair, come in a variety of colors for all occasions, and are guaranteed to make you stand out. If you’re lucky, you’ll still have some laying around from junior high and you won’t even have to shell out the big bucks.
Image via Feather Emporium
5. This last tip will be a little intensive, but I’m sure you’ll agree it definitely pays off. Start by booking a week-long trip to Florida. This is where the fun begins. While you’re there, get hair wraps. Not only is it a good way to spice up your look, but it is also a surefire way of letting everyone know you went on vacation.
Image via Harper’s Bazaar UK
Now, I don’t want to discourage anyone from living out their hair dreams. But if you’ve exhausted my list of suggestions and still find yourself hankering for bangs, you might just have to bite the bangs bullet. They could look great? If they don’t, headbands aren’t back in style, but for your sake I would happily pretend they are.