Taboo? We Don’t Know Her: A Review of Anese’s Boob and Butt Products
Graphic by Jessica Chen. Images via Anese.
The Instagram algorithm knows me too well at this point, because when I saw an advertisement for the Anese boob and butt mask I was sold … until I saw the price. I’m a huge fan of self-care, but for how much? Couldn’t I just find a cheaper replacement at Target?
I scoured for reviews on YouTube and other social media platforms to get a real rundown of how this stuff worked. And I wasn’t about to trust brand ambassadors on their “amazing experience” with Anese. But when I saw the Front to Back Set go on sale, I decided to give it a shot. Now keep in mind, all butts and boobs are different, and this is an individual experience.
When I first got the package, I was ecstatic. I’m a sucker for pretty marketing, and Anese knows what they’re doing. Upon opening the package, I was met with a card explaining how to use the set to its fullest potential (with cute illustrations too). Each box containing the products had “fuck bad vibes” written in a groovy pink font on them. I honestly kept those boxes around for a month because they were too pretty to throw away.
The products themselves were in glass containers to reduce waste. Which is fantastic, but also incredibly scary because I’m very clumsy. The containers proved to be durable when I dropped one and it rolled across the room and ended up without a scratch. It’s nice knowing Anese probably accounted for people like me dropping their products upon opening.
As cheesy as it sounds, I felt really special opening this package. It seemed like I was celebrating something, or needed to find a reason to celebrate. Between the marketing, the packaging and the body-positive message from the products, I was ready to show my boobs and butt some love.
REVIEW
“The whole booty and boob beauty routine.”
Sold for $136.00
Quick facts:
✰ Known as the “cult-favorite booty scrub”
✰ Contains oils, extracts, antioxidants and essential fatty acids like ground walnut shells
✰ Claims to get rid of acne, stretch marks and cellulite
✰ Dermatologist tested, not tested on animals, vegan, paraben-free, non-comedogenic
Application
I was a little concerned about the walnut shells given the negative reviews I’ve been hearing about them in beauty products. But they were so thinly ground, I barely registered it as a scrub. This was super easy to scoop up and scrub across my skin.
Vibe/Look
The scent is earthy and the product itself is a light brown. I wasn’t amazed by the smell but it had an airiness to it that I thoroughly enjoyed. I also particularly liked how it wasn’t too rough on my hands. When using scrubs, I find that if I’m not using an exfoliator glove, my hands get a little sensitive after a few rounds. But my hands were completely fine using this product, which definitely means it passed the vibe check.
Results
Spoiler alert! My stretch marks and cellulite were still there after using this scrub multiple times. I’m not especially surprised by this conclusion, but it would’ve definitely been cool to see it actually work. I do find that this scrub is great for keratosis pilaris (also known as chicken skin). Because chicken skin needs constant exfoliation and moisturizing to keep it mellow, this scrub was pretty helpful. But while I did enjoy using the scrub, if it’s really only helpful for chicken skin, there are definitely better and cheaper alternatives.
Down with the thickness.
Butt mask
(Sold separately for $37.00)
Quick facts:
✰ Clay mask rich in collagen and nutrients
✰ Claims to get rid of acne and stretch marks and decrease the appearance of fine lines
✰ Will also leave your butt feeling soft and radiant
✰ Dermatologist tested, not tested on animals, vegan, paraben-free, non-comedogenic
Application
You’re supposed to apply a thin layer of this mask on a cleansed and slightly moist butt, so make sure to not go overboard, as a little can go a long way. Its bright pink look and creamy texture also makes it super tempting to draw random shapes or faces on your butt (I’m definitely guilty of this). Overall, this was a lot of fun to put on.
Vibe/Look
The vibes are immaculate! The clay eventually hardens up a little as it dries, and I felt almost silly looking at myself in the mirror with a butt mask on. But as the instructions say, after application “scroll on Instagram for 20 minutes,” and that’s exactly what I did. I loved lounging around with a butt mask and not having a care in the world. As laughable as it may seem, it felt incredibly calming.
After
“Oh, she’s smooth!” I thought to myself. While I don’t deal with acne down there, I do have stretch marks and chicken skin. I’m pretty content with my stretch marks, and I wasn’t really bothered by the fact that this mask didn’t make a dent in them. I was a little disappointed, though, that my chicken skin seemed to also be unaffected by the mask. I’m constantly looking for new solutions or remedies to help, and it always seems to come down to daily exfoliation (much to my annoyance). My butt definitely felt pampered and very soft after this mask. And for a butt that spends most of the time in a chair for Zoom meetings and classes, it did look particularly radiant after a couple of uses.
Those boobies tho.
Boob scrub
(Sold separately for $31.00)
Quick Facts:
✰ Gently and effectively hydrates
✰ Contains orange peel oil, ivory palm seeds and over six botanical extracts
✰ Claims to reduce signs of aging and sun damage, make boobs more smooth, and improve the appearance of marks and bumps
✰ Dermatologist tested, not tested on animals, vegan, paraben-free, non-comedogenic
Application
As someone who lets her boobs do their own thing, I was a little weary about using a scrub. Would it hurt? Would they react poorly? Thankfully, this scrub was super fine and very easy to apply. No pain, no bad reaction, just a simple scrub doing its job. It especially feels nice after working out in a sports bra.
Vibe/Look
I really liked how this light orange scrub even looked smooth. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think it was a cream. The orange scent is barely noticeable, but still there, making this scrub simple to use and smooth to touch.
After
While I believe all the claims of hydration and smoothing, I didn’t exactly find this scrub effective for my boobs. It definitely feels great to use after a long day, but I didn’t see or feel a noticeable difference from using this scrub. Similarly to That booty tho., this product is a luxury but totally not necessary for a self-care/wash routine.
Calm your tits.
Boob mask
(Sold separately for $36.00)
Quick Facts:
✰ Clay mask that hydrates and fights oil, dirt and boob sweat
✰ Contains collagen, green tea and honey
✰ Claims to leave boobs feeling soft, reduce the appearance of fine lines and moisturize nipples
✰ Dermatologist tested, not tested on animals, vegan, paraben-free, non-comedogenic
Application
Boobs come in all shapes and sizes, so applying this mask may also vary in difficulty. I found that I had to bend or shift in certain ways to get all around my boobs, and would then accidentally get the mask on other parts of my body after relaxing. Word of advice for those with bigger boobs: don’t slouch!
Vibe/Look
This mask is hilarious. While it’s definitely calming and soothing, let’s get real. A boob mask is something you never think you’ll need until you see it and want it. Green may not be the cutest color to slather all over your boobs, but I wasn’t taking myself too seriously to start with so I wasn’t too put off.
After
I admit, I didn’t think too hard about boob-care until I came across these products. There were times where I got annoyed at my boobs moving one way or the other in any position I was in, so I wasn’t exactly the most relaxed. But the sheer joy and laughs I got out of doing this mask definitely won out. My boobs also felt softer and refreshed after using this product. And as someone who is vehemently anti-boob sweat, I did feel cleaner and better equipped for my workout days.
Final Words
Do I regret buying this set? No, especially after wanting to buy it for months. Would I buy it again? Also no. In my opinion, there are alternatives to these products, especially the scrubs. Anese does a great job of marketing and being body-positive, which is what initially caught my attention. Their natural, environmentally friendly and cruelty-free process is also a fantastic bonus. But for this price … I’ll need a little more convincing.
Anese illustrates that more brands should be outspoken about body positivity. It’s not enough to have commercials of women gracefully splashing water on their soapless faces. We want real. And I got that here. I was able to embrace my butt and boob care and was even encouraged to do so! (Anese actually urges customers to post pictures of them using their products.) While the products themselves weren’t as effective as the company or other reviews claim, they were, for the most part, easy and fun to use and had satisfying results. It was overall refreshing having a product that wanted to celebrate my body as much as I want to, especially the parts that are still considered “taboo.” Anese throws “taboo” out the window, and that in itself is a power move we’ve all been waiting for.