Not as Simple as Riding a Bicycle

“I’m playing the stereotype,” Keyla Carvalho said, “it’s easier for people to notice that I’m queer.” 

Carvalho, a proud bisexual woman and senior at Northwestern, admits that she adheres to the bisexual stereotypes such as the French tuck (tucking a shirt or sweater into jeans), cuffed jeans (jeans folded in the hem) and nose rings. Though she’s been wearing the French tuck and cuffed jeans “before it started becoming a thing”, she added a nose ring recently because of the bi-stigma around it. 

However, though clothing can become an expression of gender and sexuality, Carvalho said that the fine line between self-expression and society’s stereotypes “is kind of blurred.” In other words, it’s hard for some people within the bi community itself to differentiate “what is a stereotype and what is an expression of how things really are.”

Though Suzanna DePeri, a senior English major, doesn’t have a nose ring because her “mom would kill” her, she’s definitely also a big fan of the bi-style stereotypes. “Every time I'm wearing jeans, they need to be fully cuffed even if it's like zero degrees,” she said, “and I tuck my shirts every day.”

But clothing and style stereotypes aren’t close to the only challenges the bi-community faces on a regular basis. Bi-erasure, a term referring to the denial of bisexuality’s existence and legitimacy (GLAAD), is very present in today’s society. In an interview with Metro UK’S Lela London, Sidonie Bertrand Shelton, head of education programs at Stonewall UK, said: “Bi people are often the forgotten part of the LGBT acronym and can face abuse from not only straight people but also from lesbian and gay people. Biphobia takes many forms, including offensive myths, stereotyping and bi-erasure.”

In fact, biphobia can be present in many ways throughout a bi person’s life. According to a 2016 survey from Glamour, 63% of women say they wouldn’t date a self-identifying bisexual man. As shown by research from the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey out of the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, bisexual women and men are more likely to experience violence or domestic abuse than their gay, lesbian or straight counterparts.

When talking to a male freshman in Weinberg, he states that being a bi man is a synonym for being mistaken as gay. From his experience as early as high school, “there is always the stereotype that if you’re well put together and are wearing nice clothes, you’re gay,” he said. Though this is clear evidence that bi-erasure, it’s something this Weinberg first-year sadly has grown accustomed to. For him, coming to college meant letting go of common misconceptions and “getting more in touch with his sexuality that was about androgyny and wearing things that are more feminine,” he said. Therefore, even if he’s wearing his heeled boots that he himself nicknamed “the gayest thing I own,” he’s surer in who he is as a bisexual man in a bi-erasure-filled society. 

For DePeri, on the other hand, experiencing bi-erasure is less about outright prejudice and more about feeling less confident in her own identity. “Being in a straight relationship, I feel like I have to prove myself to people,” she said - this could mean reiterating her past relationships, the fact that her “first kiss was with a girl when she was 13” or, in fact, wearing those stereotypical bi styles previously mentioned. “Wanting to feel secure in my identity because it's important to me and wanting to feel like I can still claim that is hard,” she confessed.

Similarly, in a 2018 personal essay for GQ Magazine, Stephanie Beatriz, the actress that plays Rosa Diaz in Brooklyn Nine-Nine, reflected on her experience as a bi-woman in Hollywood and in society as a whole. Her account, that details her sexual awakening via leafing through old magazines to her marriage with a man in a few months’ time, dives deep in what is known and misunderstood about the bi-community. These problems include, of course, several moments of bi-erasure when her sexuality was questioned “every weekend” by her college friends and throughout her life. Therefore, even though she’s about to marry a man, Diaz makes a point of reiterating that she is still bi and “proud as hell” about it. 

The same can be said about many other artists that have openly come out as bisexual and made great strides into raising awareness about bisexuality. Janelle Monaé, for example, one of Carvalho’s most celebrated bi-icons, has been very candid about her bisexuality which is reflected in her album “Dirty Computer.” In this album, and specifically in her song “Make Me Feel”, she uses her interactions with both men and women coupled with her use of fashion and colors (pink and blue representing the bisexual flag) to not only demystify what it means to be bi but to also educate. 

Most of all, bi-erasure is something bi people and allies alike should try to diminish rather than solely accept it. The Weinberg freshman aptly explained bi-erasure with his “Bicycle Theory”, stating that sexuality is like a bicycle: while straight and gay people would be considered to be unicycles (and, therefore, only interested in one sex), bisexuals are bicycles and are interested in both sexes. “My bicycle is a really old bicycle with one wheel much bigger than the other,” he said — but it still is a bicycle. Though this is a simple theory he uses to explain bisexuality to others, he believes many disregard the “bicycle” as a possibility. However, the bi-community has nevertheless formed some incredible bi-icons, spokespeople and even a signature sense of style. 

Editor’s Note: Keyla Carvalho was also featured in the Dynamic Issue in the piece “The Dynamic Student Style.” Furthermore, STITCH understands that sexuality can be difficult to come to terms with, and for many individuals, revealing their sexuality can put them in harm’s way. Therefore, as requested by the source, we chose to leave the Weinberg freshman anonymous.