Erotic: What Audre Lorde Can Teach Us About Fashion

Graphic by Agnes Lee. Image via ThoughtCo

As STITCH continues beyond its Sex Issue, it’s important to reflect on the way we think about sex and the words with which we associate it. Pornographic, intimate, obscene — or, as I consider here, erotic. 

What does it mean for something to be erotic? Webster's New World College Dictionary defines it as “having to do with sexual love.” For more casual usage, let’s look at a more casual dictionary. The top three entries for “erotic” on Urban Dictionary describe it as “something that gets you horny,” “something that is sexually arousing” and something that “when you see it, your dick will harden or your vagina will become wet.” These definitions all paint the erotic in a distinctly sexual context. But what happens when we attempt to separate “erotic” from “sex”? That’s where Audre Lorde comes in.

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Audre Lorde was a revolutionary, self-described “black, lesbian, mother, warrior, poet” who made major contributions to the fields of feminist theory, critical race studies and queer theory before her death in 1992. Her essay “Uses of the Erotic” reclaimed the word “erotic” from its patriarchal roots and repurposed it for the use of women.

Lorde saw the erotic not as a descriptor for sexual acts, but for the feelings of pleasure and satisfaction that could be derived from those acts. “Once we know the extent to which we are capable of feeling that sense of satisfaction and completion, we can then observe which of our various life endeavors brings us closest to that fullness,” she wrote, suggesting how eroticism might extend beyond the sexual realm. 

So, the erotic is a pure and deeply felt joy — perhaps derived from sex, but from any other source as well. It can be found in any aspect of one’s life. As Lorde put it, the erotic is “creative energy empowered, the knowledge and use of which we are now reclaiming in our language, our history, our dancing, our loving, our work, our lives.” Certainly, if the erotic can be reclaimed in each of those spheres, fashion is no exception.

What might it look like to consider fashion erotically? I imagine it means finding the elements of fashion that bring you the most joy and incorporating them into your wardrobe as often as possible. For me, this means high-waisted silhouettes, platform or high-heeled shoes and statement pieces – all of which are almost always present in my everyday wear. But these could vary widely for any individual. Maybe for you comfortable sweatpants, dazzling jewelry or perfectly styled hair is erotic. Whatever brings you the most satisfaction to wear, wear it.

This might mean disregarding conventions of style and trendiness at times, but breaking traditional standards of fashion is nothing to fear. In fact, Lorde and I agree that it should be encouraged. “The fear that we cannot grow beyond whatever distortions we may find within ourselves keeps us docile and loyal and obedient, externally defined and leads us to accept many facets of our oppression as women.” Although Lorde only considered a female perspective, there is no reason her message cannot extend to people of all genders whose styles and lives are subject to outdated systems of control. 

All of this adds up to a simple conclusion: live life as fully and as joyfully as possible in all respects. Don’t be satisfied with conformity. Dress erotically. Live erotically. Be erotic.

Read Lorde’s original essay here, and see many more ways that STITCH thinks about sex in the Sex Issue, live now on the STITCH website