The Social Stigma Of Painting My Nails As A Guy
My roommate and I only have disagreements about one thing: color. I absolutely love color and he absolutely loves neutrals. When we were decorating our dorm room, we often found ourselves in disagreements about the color scheme of our room. I wanted to add a pop of yellow, he didn’t. He wanted to add some more grey, I didn’t. I thrive on color and I think color adds such a spark to everything. I think color is beautiful.
So, I decided I needed more color in my life. So, I bought some nail polish. After an hour of painting my nails, they were purple and covered in glitter. Basically, it was any gay man’s dream. I proudly walked out of my dorm room with my painted nails and went on with my day.
As I began interacting with people I noticed two basic reactions of my painted nails. The first reaction was, “Oh my God I love your nails.” I would reply “Thank you” and my heart would smile. The second reaction was, “Oh. You painted your nails. That’s cool. But why?” This was difficult to answer. I could tell the truth and say, “Oh I love color and I needed more color in my life,” or “I tend to be a bit more feminine and I’m not afraid to show that off,” but instead I found myself answering with a completely different and probably more practical answer: “I bite my nails, so I figured it would stop me from biting them”
Even though I am a gay male, I still struggle with conforming to gender norms. I cower in the face of adversity to my more feminine choices. I have a hard time admitting that I love the TV show “Gossip Girl.” I have a hard time wearing slimmer jeans because of the connotations they imply. I also have a hard time answering “Why?” when asked about my painted nails. I was taught to embrace who I am, and I am someone who loves color and sparkle, so why do I have a hard time showing that?
The root cause is the gender norms our society teaches us to abide by. When I was younger, I wouldn’t play with my sister’s dollhouse because it was too girly, but all I wanted to do was take Katie, the teenage doll, and guide her through life. I was taught that pink and purple are “girl colors.” We have innate gender norms, norms that make it harder for people to be their true self.
I have a friend who wears crop tops. He’s a guy, and he is one of the most comfortable people I have seen when it comes to sexuality. But whenever he wears one, I see people giving him looks. People judge him for wearing a crop top, even though he completely rocks it. I got those looks when I painted my nails, and it shocked me. A family member even asked me, “So are you transgender now?”
No. I am a man. I am a gay man. I am a gay man who likes a little bit of color and flair in his life. I love color and I love the way color looks on my fingers. The social stigma I have experienced from painting my nails is not intense, but it is there, and it shows that society is large steps away from being fully accepting. So in order to fight these gender norms, my nails will be purple next week. The week after, they’ll probably be green. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll add some glitter on them. Why you ask? Because color is amazing, and because I don’t care that I’m labeled as a bit more feminine. Oh, and I guess it helps me stop biting my nails as well.
